Relationships and Family

There is no such thing as the perfect relationship, but developing a good relationship can take a lot of work.  Relationships, like most other things, are created by what we know or how we were raised.  If one is raised in a loving home environment, it’s likely that trend will continue.  However, if one is raised in a dysfunctional home environment, unfortunately, it’s likely that trend will continue.  Unless, of course, there is an effort to change or break the cycle.  If raised in a dysfunctional home, it would be wise to seek counseling as an adult if you haven’t gone already. This can be critical as to how your adult relationships are formed with a future spouse, children, or even friends.
Counseling can prove to be effective if you are willing to accept the things that you cannot change; especially the past.  There are many self-help books can be useful as well.  Just that fact that there are so many books on the market might indicate that there plenty of people with relationship issues.   There are skills that you can develop to increase the likelihood of building successful relationships.  These skills will come into play with all types of relationships. 
Family relationships can be the toughest relationships there are.  For some reason, the more comfortable we are around people, like our immediate families, the more we seem to take them for granted or don’t treat them with the same respect we might treat a perfect stranger.  For example, if your husband or wife dropped a bottle of ketchup on the floor, you might be quick to react with anger.  However, if someone you just met did the same thing, you would likely try to make them feel better by brushing it off as no big deal.  The question is why do we treat a perfect stranger better than our closest family members? 
Family history can often be an indicator of how children will grow up to raise their families.  Not in just a dysfunctional sense but in many other aspects.  Communication for example, in some families is very difficult.  If raised in a family where children are supposed to be seen and not heard, it is likely that those children will be more introverted and have difficulty expressing feelings as adults.  Emotions are another trait that can be influenced by your family.  If you are not allowed to express your emotions or saying “I love you” is not commonly heard in your household it’s likely that expressing those emotions as an adult will not come easily. 
All in all relationships are a difficult business.  In order to make them work, it takes a lot of compassion, love, compromise.  As children most of us never realized there was so much effort that went into building relationships.  It was kind of just expected that our families would love us.  As adults, we know that relationships fail and sometimes end as a result.  It’s not often said, but there are relationships that are better off ending.