Divorce occurs when two married people decide to end their marriage and legally divide all property, assets, and children that were built within the relationship. The circumstances surrounding the decision to divorce can make it a positive or negative experience. Married couples choose to divorce for a variety of reasons including irreconcilable differences, infidelity, domestic violence, emotional abuse, illness, and financial problems. Regardless of the reasons married couples divorce, the impact a divorce has on families and relationships is forever changed.

            Marriage is a difficult relationship. Currently, about 50% of marriages end in divorce. The decision to divorce should not be taken lightly. It is a very costly experience emotionally and financially. Marriages that end in divorce often leave individuals feeling depressed, lonely, and chaotic. Divorce also affects the children and subsequent generations.

            Before you enter into a divorce, you should seek the advice of counselors, friends, and possibly an attorney. Counseling can sometimes help identify and repair any breakdowns in the relationship. Couple who can work through their problems and rebuild a marriage relationship can often avoid divorce. Friends who have experienced divorce can also be a support. They are able to offer personal experience and ways in which to help adjust your new life outside of marriage. Even with the most amicable divorces, an attorney may be needed in order to legally resolve all of the assets within the marriage. They will also be able to help establish custody agreements and spousal support.

            Healing after a divorce can take several years. If a spouse divorced because of infidelity, domestic violence, or emotional abuse, it may be very difficult for them to find the self esteem needed to live a productive life. Divorce due to these reasons leaves people feeling untrustworthy and unwilling to develop new relationships. It may take many years to resolve the emotional conflict associated with a dysfunctional marriage that ended in divorce.

            When there are children involved with a divorce it makes the matter even more complicated. Children feel torn between two of the most important people in their lives. There is often a lot of anger, sadness, resentment, and emotional pain involved when parents divorce. When they are with one parent, children worry that the other parent may be sad and lonely. Children also worry about the financial constraints placed upon their divorced parents. Some children have become accustomed to having a stay at home mother and now that mother must work outside of them home as a result of the divorce. This is creates fear and resentment for the children in a divorced family.

            The decision to divorce should be carefully planned out. If there are children in the relationship, special considerations need to be paid to their emotional well being and communication between the parents. Parents choosing to divorce need to put the children in the relationship first. They need to make every effort to make the divorce a smooth transition for the family. Although divorce will still be a very traumatic event, the more time spent preparing the children for the transition, the more quickly the adjustments can be made.